How to Stop Making Excuses and Start Owning Your Life
The problem
Every day, I commute from Westchester to Manhattan. For anyone not familiar with the area, this means riding the Metro North train, operated by the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, or the MTA as most people call it.
Many of the train cars are old, most are crowded, and sometimes in the summer, the air conditioning feels more like warm breath than a cool breeze.
Did I mention that my monthly ticket costs more than my car payment?
Despite the general misery, I was able to find a train on which I always had a seat. The 6:41AM train from White Plains – my station is only the second stop, which means I can sit wherever I want, and the train only makes three more stops after mine, so the ride to Manhattan is only a few minutes longer than atypical express train. This train is a unicorn, and I faithfully take it everyday.
Except one day I didn’t.
I can’t remember if I laid in bed a few minutes longer than usual, forgot to pack my lunch in advance, or was just moving slower from a few too many beers the night before.
Either way, I left my apartment five minutes later than normal, and I missed the 6:41 train. “No big deal,” I thought, “I’ll take then next one. After all, it’s only eight minutes later.”
As I stood on the platform and watched the 6:49 roll into the station, I knew I made a big mistake. There was not a seat to be found on the train. Passengers pushed their way aboard, filled the entryway, and quickly began to line the aisle stretching the length of the car. I found myself halfway down the aisle, standing, surrounded by other uncomfortable, angry, and sweaty passengers.
My terrible solution
To say I was pissed off would be an understatement. I spent the next 40 minutes,packed like a sardine on a train where I paid for a ticket and expected a seat.
I used that time to write, revise, and send a complaint letter to the MTA, in my head of course. As soon as I got to work, I submitted my complaint through the MTA website, citing comfort, safety, and unreliability in my tirade.
As you might expect, my complaint was promptly answered with one of the most polite “go fuck yourself” emails I have ever received.
The right solution
It was at this point I stepped back to think about my anger. I remembered the day before when I took the 6:41 train without issue, as well as the countless weeks before that. I knew which train I had to catch if I wanted a seat.
This mishap was nobody’s fault but mine. And I was mad at the MTA as if they forced me to take the more crowded train. How dare they not accommodate my every need!
I felt like such an idiot. I let my ego get the best of me. I allowed myself to feel entitled and didn’t take accountability for my actions.
I know that the most effective people take accountability for everything – even the things that appear to be outside of their control. What I should have thought, and eventually came to realize, was that standing on the 6:49 was my punishment for letting myself slip and shirking my commitment to discipline.
Since that day, I have not missed the 6:41 train again. I learned my lesson. I humbled myself.
How discipline trickles down
Spending a few extra minutes in bed and missing your favorite train doesn’t seem like the end of the world, and it isn’t. However, if you consistently allow yourself to give in to your every desire, you lose your discipline, and everything else begins to unravel.
Discipline is a cornerstone of a successful life. As Jocko Willink says, “Discipline equals freedom.”
By getting up on time and catching the right train, I get a seat. Because I get a seat, I am happier when I get to work, which translates to higher productivity. Because my productivity is higher, I have a better chance to impress my manager, which could lead to a raise or promotion.
This obviously doesn’t happen in one day, but maintaining daily discipline starting when the alarm goes off will translate to greater success over time.
Henry Flagler, a nineteenth century captain of industry, put it best when he said, “I would rather be my own tyrant than have someone else tyrannize me.”
Get up the first time your alarm rings. Consistently execute on the little things, because they contribute to the big things. And make sure you catch your 6:41.
How do you practice discipline? Let me know in the comments below or on Twitter @josephcwells
