Some Practical Thoughts on Stoicism
Is Stoicism a bullshit fad?
Is it only relevant because of Ryan Holiday and some Silicon Valley nerds?
I can see how you might think that.
The only reason I know about Stoicism is from following Ryan Holiday and Tim Ferriss. But I think it’s more than a fad for people who actually use the philosophy (not just throw around the term to sound smart or important).
The basic premise of Stoic philosophy says your mind is the only thing over which you have total control. You rarely control the events around you, but you always control your reaction to them.
Since that’s the case, Stoics train their minds to be prepared in situations outside their control.
I've been interested in Stoicism for a few years, but I recently started taking it seriously.
Every morning for the last 53 days (excluding the day I ran a half Ironman), I read a page of The Daily Stoic. Then I spent five minutes writing a quick reflection on how I can apply it to my day. It’s a routine I enjoy and look forward to.
As I’ve talked about before, high achievers rely on processes.
This process has made a noticeable difference in my life, and it only takes a few minutes.
When you put your thoughts on paper every day, patterns start to emerge. What follows are the patterns that emerged for me – my practical thoughts on Stoicism.
View all situations objectively
Imagine you’re standing at a crosswalk waiting for the walk signal. Rain is pouring down, but you’re staying dry under your umbrella.
Cars are flying by - everyone’s racing home from work. While the light is green, you’re standing a few steps back from the curb. But then the light turns yellow and you step up to the edge.
Trying to beat the red light, one last car zooms by, blasts through a puddle, and soaks you to the skin.
Your immediate reaction is one of two things:
You yell, “What the fuck, asshole?! Couldn’t you see the puddle?” OR
You step back, fold up your umbrella since you’re soaked, and think to yourself, “I probably should’ve been standing back a bit.”
If you’re in the first group, don’t worry. I am too most of the time.
But what I’ve noticed from reading and reflecting on Stoicism for a couple months is the importance of viewing situations objectively.
What are the chances the guy in the car was trying to splash you? Probably 0%.
He probably didn’t see you or the puddle. He just saw a changing light and visions of dinner on the table.
You can tell yourself the story that he’s a jerk who was trying to ruin your evening – but that’s not an objective version of events. And it only stands to make you mad.
You could also laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation and then appreciate your dry clothes at home even more.
When you assume other people have bad intentions – without any objective indication to suggest they do – you’re not in control of your mind. You immediately default to a victim mentality, and an isolated event of little significance will ruin the rest of your day.
This isn’t an earth-shattering revelation. But Stoicism isn’t about earth-shattering revelations.
It’s about reminding yourself every day of these little nuggets of common sense, so when you’re faced with the puddle splashing situation, your mind defaults to laughter rather than storytelling.
You control your outlook
Bad things will happen to you.
You’ll get stuck in traffic.
You’ll spill coffee on your shirt.
You’ll pull a muscle or break a bone.
You might have a friend stab you in the back.
You might lose your job.
Life is full of bad moments. They are inevitable.
Since we know bad things will happen, and we know we can’t stop them (or even predict them), what should we do?
Stoicism says we should prepare our minds, since the mind is the only thing over which we have total control.
The best way to practice this habit is when you experience small daily setbacks:
Stuck in traffic? Instead of an inconvenience, see it as an opportunity to practice patience. Or even better, use that time to call and catch up with a friend.
Pull a leg muscle? Instead of seeing this as an impediment to your training, look at it as an opportunity to focus on something else. Maybe you can’t run for a couple weeks, but you can use that time to work on core strength – something you may have been neglecting.
Fail a test? Rather than letting it ruin your day, use it as an opportunity to review the material again. Failing a test by one point is probably better than passing by one point. Either way, you haven’t mastered the material. But if you failed, you’ll have to review it again. If you passed you won’t.
The situations above are small potatoes. They happen frequently and are easy opportunities to practice Stoicism.
The bigger picture is that you will be faced (less frequently) with more trying scenarios. Practicing on the little things will prepare you for the big things.
Lose your job? This can be devastating. But what’s done is done, and the important factor is how you move forward. Maybe you were comfortable in your role, and losing your job gives you the opportunity to seek a more engaging and possibly higher paying position. If nothing else, the experience teaches you that losing your job is always possible, so you should be prepared (have an emergency fund, build marketable skill sets).
Lose a loved one? This is an objectively sad experience. But if you train your mind, you’ll be better equipped to deal with the situation. Maybe you use it as a catalyst to spend more time with your family. Maybe losing somebody motivates you to end a feud with an old friend. Of course, you will be sad. Of course, you will grieve. But a Stoic will realize that he can only control his reaction, so control that he will.
I’ve noticed changes in my thought patterns and reactions from less than two months of consistent, deliberate Stoicism practice.
It has directly impacted my daily existence in a positive way.
I’m laying the foundation for a strong mindset that will help me deal with the major future problems I’m destined to face.
I’ll leave you with one last example – a practical application of Stoicism in my life:
How I've used Stoicism
One morning, not long ago, I drove to the gym because it was raining. When I drive to the gym, I always bring four quarters to pay for parking.
Four quarters buys an hour - usually enough to finish my workout.
On that day, I got to the parking machine,entered my spot number, and selected one hour. The machine prompted me to pay one dollar.
I dropped my first quarter in the slot. It didn’t register.
I pushed the coin return. Nothing came out.
I didn’t have my wallet with me. I was left with three quarters when the minimum time you can purchase costs one dollar.
A few months ago, I probably would’ve been pissed off and gone home to avoid a $20 ticket (I used to get really bent up about perceived inconveniences).
Instead, I paused and remembered the three times I ate pizza that week – certainly more than $20.
If I am willing to spend $20 on pizza but not on a workout, I’m an asshole.
I hopped in the elevator, went into the gym, and enjoyed my workout, not giving the ticket another thought.
When I got back to my car after the workout, I found a ticket on the windshield. But to my surprise it was for $10, not $20.
“Well that’s a pretty good deal,” I thought to myself.
My workout cost $10.25, about the same as a pizza dinner. The ticket never crossed my mind again.
When the parking machine eats your quarter, you have two options:
Let it go, pay a $10 ticket, and enjoy your workout, or
Get pissed off, stomp home, skip your workout, and let it ruin your day.
The event is not always in your control. The reaction to the event is. Will you turn your next inconvenience into two losses, or will you turn it into a win?
The best way I’ve found to practice Stoicism is by reading The Daily Stoic every day.
I write my daily reflection on a legal pad, but Ryan Holiday also created The Daily Stoic Journal – for those of you who prefer a bit more structure.
How has Stoicism impacted your life? Let me know what you think on Twitter or via email.
